Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Make The Children Proud
Written by Ben Krull Friday, 15 May 2009 05:44
While the New York State Assembly's approval of the gay marriage bill is good news, it's clear to me that the opponents of gay marriage are more interested in advancing an anti-gay agenda than they are in their stated goals of protecting children from the perceived evils of marriage equality.
To conclude otherwise would ignore the thousands of same-sex couples who have formed families through adoption.
In my nearly 20 years of working as a law assistant in Family Court, I have seen adoptions by gay and lesbian couples grow from a novelty into a commonplace event - a trend that will undoubtedly accelerate as same-sex relationships gain wider acceptance.
There is no logic in allowing same-sex couples to be parents while prohibiting them from being married. I am also unable to understand how states that have no problem with adoptions by single women can justify banning so-called gay marriage on the rationale that children need to be raised by a mother and father. But when it comes to homosexuality, hysteria, more than reasoned thought, has long been the hallmark of the family values crowd.
In truth, opponents of marriage equality are an obstacle to the well-being of children being raised by same-sex couples. After all, how does it help these children - already shackled by the stigma often associated with adoption - to convey the message that their parents' relationship is less legitimate than the relationship of a married couple?
The bigots attacking gay marriage on the grounds it's detrimental to children use this argument to obscure their goal of demonizing homosexuals. But as an increasing number of households headed by gay couples become fully integrated into New York's social fabric, the canard that marriage equality is somehow anti-family will be exposed.
The vindictiveness of the campaign against same-sex marriage is revealed by the fact that giving gay New Yorkers marriage rights would have no effect on the rights of straight men and women (or on the closeted homosexuals who oppose gay rights) or their families.
Marriage equality would have the biggest impact on the children of same-sex couples, who would finally experience the security of growing up in a society that recognizes the legitimacy of their families.
Whatever the outcome of the marriage equality debate, same-sex couples will continue to become parents. If our lawmakers care about the children in these families, they will welcome them into New York's mainstream by legalizing gay marriage.
Krull, who writes a monthly column for OurTown and the West Side Spirit, is an attorney who works as a law assistant to a Manhattan Family Court judge.
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