Comic Relief
Comic Relief
Bert And Ernie Come Out in Favor of Same Sex Marriage
Written by David Henry Sterry Thursday, 25 February 2010 09:28
Bert and Ernie, legendary lovable Sesame Street icons, are in favor of same-sex marriage, sources close to them recently revealed. This hot button topic that has caused raging and flaming controversy all over the United States for years is still dominating headlines. On February 18, 2010, the Archdiocese of Washington announced that they are doing away with their foster care program, because they can't work with the change in the District of Columbia's laws that will allow same-sex marriages to be recognized legally. This is just the latest in a long line of decisions which affect millions of people's lives, legally, socially and morally.
Chris Matthews Sees Avatar; Forgets Characters Are Blue
Written by Andy Bor Wednesday, 03 February 2010 07:09
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - On his television program Hardball last night, host Chris Matthews revealed that he had seen the Oscar-nominated film Avatar and for an hour had forgotten that the alien characters, the Na'vi, were blue.
"I'm sitting there in the theater with my 3-D glasses on and here are these blue creatures talking to a bunch of white guys," Mr. Matthews said. "And for about an hour there I totally forgot they were blue."
Pat Robertson: Haiti?! I Thought They Said "Hades"
Written by Andy Borowitz Thursday, 14 January 2010 07:02
VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) - Just hours after saying that God was punishing Haiti for making a "pact with the Devil," televangelist Pat Robertson retracted the statement, telling TV viewers, "Haiti? I thought they said ‘Hades.'"
Tiger's Mistresses March on Washington
Written by Andy Borowitz Tuesday, 08 December 2009 07:28
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In one of the largest mass demonstrations in recent history, over one million women claiming to have had sexual liaisons with Tiger Woods marched on Washington today.
Determined to show that they are a political force to be reckoned with, the coalition of nightclub hostesses, cocktail waitresses and lingerie models stopped traffic for hours as they marched to the Capitol.
Lou Dobbs Returns to His Planet; 'My Work Here is Done'
Written by Andy Borowitz Thursday, 12 November 2009 08:04
"People of Earth, farewell," he said. "My work here is done."
In his farewell speech, Mr. Dobbs acknowledged the irony of his being an alien but insisted that he had been on Earth legally.
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